DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife’s family call her endlessly throughout the day to discuss the most trivial details of their lives and hear about ours. I am sick and tired of it, but my wife cannot see the problem.
She is the youngest at 36 and has two older sisters who are both married with families of their own.
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I am 35 and our son is six years old. My wife has a career too.
We both worked at home during lockdown and it became unbearable the number of times one or other of her family called. It is no joke when we even get interrupted when we are having sex. She refuses to put her phone on silent or ignore the calls.
I have asked her so many times to set boundaries, but she tries only half-heartedly and they ignore it anyway. This situation is now affecting my physical and emotional life.
DEIDRE SAYS: She may be the youngest sibling but she is clearly central in her family.
Insist her phone goes on silent and unanswered during sex but it is her life and her choice at other times. If she isn’t irritated by the constant interruption, then it is fulfilling a need in her life.
If she doesn’t welcome it but is unable to say no to them, then learning to be more assertive will help. My e-leaflet Standing Up For Yourself will help you both set firmer boundaries.
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