I am afraid of turning into a violent man like my dad after pushing my partner

DEAR DEIDRE:I WORRY that I’m turning into a violent, angry man, just like my dad.

He used to beat me and my mum when I was young.

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Now I feel angry all the time and during a row yesterday I pushed my girlfriend – which scared both of us.

I apologised and told her I’d never do it again but I’m frightened I will.

I’m 26 and she is 24.

When I was eight years old I made a promise to myself not to turn into the kind of monster my dad was.

But I now have nightmares in which I see myself hurting my girlfriend.

I don’t want to lose her.

I need help managing my anger but I don’t know where to start.

DEIDRE SAYS: I am sorry you were abused and although it might not feel like it now, you are halfway to sorting it simply by recognising your anger issues and their roots.

You can learn to control your temper – my support pack Managing Anger explains more.

Simply leaving the room if you feel your temper rising can make a difference.

Contact Mind for information on anger management courses (mind.org.uk, 0300 123 3393).

Consider counselling to help you come to terms with the abuse you suffered as a child. See babcp.com for more information.

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