Demi Lovato has recently opened up about why they didn’t come out as nonbinary sooner. Speaking to Jane Fonda for her “Fire Drill Friday” podcast, Lovato said the way they grew up had an impact on their gender expression.
Lovato said if they had continued to “listen to the patriarchy” their pronouns would have never changed and they probably would have been “married to a man with kids, doing the thing that I was raised to believe I should do.”
“Growing up in Dallas, Texas, in the South, being Christian, there was a lot of norms that were already pushed on to me when it came to sexuality and gender,” Lovato said. “And I’m a very fluid person, I’m a very free spirited, open person.”
Lovato said there were times in life they felt more masculine, and times they felt more feminine. “So, there’s been moments in my life that have been very confusing to me, you know being 10 years old, attracted to women and not knowing what that meant as a Christian and being raised in the South where that’s not very open. You know, it’s harder there,” they continued.
Lovato said they after living years of their life for other people and making themselves “smaller for the patriarchy,” they realized they were being held back.
It was in 2018, after Lovato experienced a drug overdose, that they realized, “I had to wake up and start living my life for me.”
“No matter what choices men thought I should make for myself, I just started listening to me, which I ended up finding out was equal parts masculine and feminine.” Lovato said. They said they stripped themself of the norms society has put on them and became “the most complete and authentic version of myself that I have ever been in my life.”
Fonda told Lovato she was so happy for them.
The 28-year-old singer announced they were nonbinary in May. In a Twitter video introducing their new podcast, Lovato said they don’t identify as male or female and they are officially changing their pronouns to they/them.
On their podcast, Lovato said that “it would mean the world” if people used their correct pronouns, but they will “be accepting” if people accidentally use she/her pronouns, and just “want them to be making the effort.”
Lovato previously announced that they are pansexual on Joe Rogan’s podcast in March. They recently shared their struggles with addiction and mental health in a YouTube documentary, which chronicled their life before and after a near-fatal overdose in 2018.
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