DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER once not getting an erection, I have negative thoughts going around in my head, saying: “Maybe I won’t be able to do it this time.” Then I often can’t.
I am 33, with a partner aged 30 and a girl of three. She had pneumonia two months ago and we were sick with worry.
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Thankfully, our little girl got better.
But when we tried to have sex, I couldn’t because of all the anxiety.
Now I feel such a failure.
How do I get my sex life back on track?
DEIDRE SAYS: Anxiety can kill sexual arousal and now your worries are focused on your performance itself.
But you can turn this around.
Stop even trying to have intercourse just for now.
Instead, focus with your partner on all the other ways there are to enjoy, arouse and satisfy one another.
It will be a bonus for her.
Let erections come and go.
In a month or so, you may well find you have intercourse without really thinking or worrying about it.
My e-leaflet on Solving Erection Problems goes into more detail.
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